Adventures of Sharin and Byaku: FanFiction Raid
by Ice Wings of Paradise
Summary: It's started! Me and my good friend Byaku are magically warped into FanFiction, where we try and destroy every common fanfic and refer to very obscure things! Rated T for crude violence and to be safe. Mild SaiXOC.


Hey, guys! The rule of Sharin and Byaku has started.. FEAR US!! Lol, naw, but expect to see a lot of us now :D

Another story.. I know... but this is only a oneshot, so don't beat me up too bad. Kudos to randomgibber, whose mum won't let her go on FanFiction and is Byaku in this. We miss you!

Warning: Very crude. Very stupid. Very like me.

Disclaimer: Please. If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be here. And Deidara would still be alive.

***

"Oh my GOD!!" I sighed, and exited out of the Fanfiction page. Byaku peered over my shoulder. "What's up? Got killed again by a revenant on RuneScape?"

"No, just the amount of crap on Fanfiction these days," I replied. "Just SasuSaku, SasuNaru, NaruSaku and Konoha Highs. When will it stop?!" I broke down in exaggerated sobs.

"It can't be all bad," Byaku frowned. She deftly opened the FanFiction window, and scrolled down the page rather slowly compared to me. "Man, you're right. This sucks! Where's the good stuff?"

"I think the good authors went underground. I know I would, with all this stuff." I sniffed. "Where's the humour? The slapstick? The uncommon pairings? THE HET?!"

"The what?"

"Heterosexual. You know, non yaoi."

"Sharin, you need to remember to use dumber words around me."

"Sorry, I forgot that you were a dumbass." I smiled, meaning no insult. I peered at the page. "Hey, what's this button?" A strange button had just appeared, saying 'Enter'. I made little circles around it with the cursor.

"Ooh, Oromis."

"You mean ominous."

"Whatever. Shall we click?"

"May as well. If any spam comes, we'll zap them with our scammer thingies."

"Sweet. Here we go."

I clicked on the button, and we got zapped into the computer MAGICALLY.

Because we can.

Yeah.

***

"Holy shit what happened." Byaku said, looking around. We certainly weren't in my computer room anymore.

"No idea, but it looks like a high school." I said. We looked around. It was an ugly day, the sun shining, cherry blossoms falling everywhere.

I noticed someone. "Hey, whose that?"

***

Sakura looked at her new high school, already regretting moving. The cherry blossoms floated around her. People walked everywhere in cliques, never truly alone. Sakura stifled a sob, and walked to two girls who were looking as dazed as her.

"Um, excuse me.."Sakura started. The taller one had reddish brown hair, around shoulder length. She had icy blue eyes, and wore a casual outfit consisting of grey skinny jeans, a rather frilly orange top and boots. The other girl was shorter slightly, with curly brown-black hair with chocolate brown eyes. She had on an outfit which consisted of a red hoodie with black flares with ultra-high Converses. The two girls blinked, already judging her in their minds.

"You're Haruno Sakura, right?" The taller one said, a grin that wasn't very friendly leaking on her face.

"Yesss..." Sakura said, wondering if she had a reputation already.

The two girls looked at each other, then back to Sakura. They screamed out one frightening word:

"DIEE!!!!"

They pulled out several kunai, and proceeded to stab the poor pink-headed girl with them. She begged for mercy, but they were too hardcore to stop now. Finally, Sakura was a bloody lump. The girls dusted off their hands, which is very hard since they were still carrying the kunai, and suddenly pressed a magical 'Next' button that appeared, which disappeared along with them.

***

Naruto and Sakura were At Ichiraku, laughing joyously. Sai was there as well, but just smiling. They were all celebrating Sakura and Naruto finally getting together. Under the table, Naruto and Sakura were holding hands. Love seemed tom sap from their eyes.

Suddenly, two girls walked past slowly, hands held to their chests, heads bowed. Sakura and Naruto didn't notice, but Sai raised an eyebrow.

When the two drew kunais, Sai didn't do anything. But he frowned when he saw the knives plunge into Sakura's neck. The girls laugh manically, and stabbed and stabbed again. Their brown capes fluttered slightly.

Suddenly, twenty ANBU appeared. "There you are!" they cried. "You are under arrest for wrecking a perfectly good fanfic!" Byaku growled (she's been known to do that), and pulled out a sword. So did Sharin, but she was slightly distracted because she was staring at Sai.

The ANBU raced forward, katanas flying. Byaku and Sharin quickly slashed a few guys. Byaku then finished them off. She turned to Sai, and saw Sharin and him making out. "What the hell Sharin?" she said. Sharin said past a mouth full of Sai, "Don't judge me." She then turned back to Sai. Byaku sighed, and looked at Naruto, who was weeping over the corpse of Sakura. But more ANBU came, and she took them out all by herself, because Sharin was 'preoccupied'.

"There we go," Byaku said, sheathing her sword. Sai and Sharin were now holding hands. "Can we take Sai with us?" Sharin said.

"No." Byaku said firmly.

"PLEEEEASE??" Sharin wailed.

"No! You're meant to be the leader anyway!" Byaku yelled.

Sharin sighed, and kissed Sai on the cheek. "I'll never forget you," she said sadly, and pressed the 'Next' button. Sai waved sadly.

***

The night was cold and pitch black. Sasuke wondered why Naruto had brought him away from the training grounds. Probably to yell at how 'inferior' I am, Naruto thought. He sniffed.

"Naruto."

Sasuke had stopped, his back to Naruto. Naruto's heart fluttered, which rather surprised him.

"Yes, Sasuke?" The blonde haired boy whispered.

"I'm going to say it straight out. I think I-"

"POWER TO THE HET!!!" Two loud screams interrupted whatever Sasuke was trying to say. Two girls leapt out of the trees, wearing traditional ninja outfits. One managed to cut Sasuke's cheek with her katana, and the other one did a strange crossover between Rasengan and Chidori on Naruto. The one attacking Sasuke finally stabbed a couple of times in the throat then let him die.

"Geesh Sharin, I thought we decided not to kill Naruto," the one who was covered in Sasuke's blood chided. She took off her mask, revelaing it to be Byaku.

"Sorry. Once you went gay death is the only way," Sharin said. _**((AN: I'm not against gays! More power to them! I just don't like yaoi)) **_

"Fair enough. To the next one," Byaku said.

"Is that all we're gonna do? Just kill people we don't like and hook up with people we do?" Sharin said suddenly.

"Unless you got a better idea..." Byaku said, running her fingers through her hair.

Sharin thought for a moment. "Fair enough. Let's go."

Sharin dived to press the button that appears oh-so-conveniently...

***

The Akatsuki base was unusually quiet, considering that around 10 whiney criminals were there. Everyone was doing their own thing; Sasori making puppets, Deidara making pretty birds, Kakuzu sewing, Itachi was taking a nap, Kisame swimming in his bath, Zetsu quietly devouring a corpse. Even Hidan was quiet, reading a book called 'Jashinism And You'.

But all that was about to be changed.

Two girls suddenly burst through the wall, screaming "OH YEAHH!" and carrying a bowl of punch and a CD player booming out 'Just Dance' full volume. Itachi glanced up, blinked, and called out "Konaan, we got Kool-Aid impersonators again."

WHOOSH! Konan appeared in a matter of seconds. She glared at the two girls. the girls glared back. Then Konan broke into a grin.

"S!! B!!" She squealed, and ran forward to hug them.

"K!!" The two girls squealed as well and hugged her back, regardless of the punch and CD player. "We're here!" They announced, and Pein emerged from his office.

"About time. My tap shoes were starting to embarrass me." He lifted his foot up, showing the metal plates that were loosely screwed into the shoe. He tapped his foot, then started to break dace to 'Just Dance'.

Sasori emerged from his workshop. "Cut that crap out! I'm concentrating!"

"Come on Saso, its fun!" Byaku called out, jigging to the music. Sasori, to everyone's secret surprise, shrugged and joined in the dance party. He strung up Hiruko on the roof and it turned into a disco ball, spinning slowly around and around.

"Oh my God! Lady Gaga!" Deidara appeared, grinning like mad. Sharin (who had sadly forgotten Sai) ran up and shouted "Let's dance!"

Soon everyone was dancing. Hiruko kept on spinning. Everyone was partying hard, when suddenly:

"Hey!"

Orochimaru stood in the doorway, hair in a pony tail with a pink bow. "No one told me Lady Gaga was on!" he cried sulkily.

"Go away Orochimaru, no one likes you," Itachi said, doing the Shopping Trolley. Orochimaru burst into tears and ran all the way back to Soundland.

Sharin was partying away with Deidara and Zetsu, Byaku was not-very-subtly hitting on Hidan, when suddenly-

- "Whoa." We were back in my computer room.

Byaku kept on dancing for a minute, when she finally looked around. "Hey, where is everyone?" I shrugged.

"I assume we didn't press 'Next' fast enough, so we were teleported back into our dimension, and irrevocably erasing anyone who had contact with us' memory," I said philosophically.

Byaku sniffed. "I wanna go back."

I patted her on the shoulder. "Alas, maybe what we did prevented the publishing of any crap stories. Remember, always get a Beta."

Byaku nodded. "Right. And read the manga and watch the anime."

I stood up, stretched, and walked out into the harsh light of a lamp. "Wanna go play some ping pong?"

Byaku smiled. "You know, why not? The exercise will do us good, and maybe it can inspire a really good fanfic."

"..."

"Let's go watch some crap on YouTube."

Well, thanks for reading! Please, review. I really would like to know what you think. Seriously, I do. And did anyone catch any of the hints I dropped? Lol XD


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